Sea foam

The only bad thing about working by the ocean, is the overwhelming urge to throw myself off the pier. Yeah, I know, it’s the depression talking. I don’t know why, but I’ve just been crying a lot lately. Replaying failures again, and again. I don’t know how to stop it. It’s okay when I’m in the ocean, because this meat suit has it own ways of forcing itself to live. I still just want to let go of the board, or go too far out. Maybe one day, I’ll slip on a rock or something.

I’m tired of lectures. Whether by someone else, or myself.  I’m tired of taking the blame, and everything being placed on my shoulders. I had to explain to someone that I’ve never planned for the future. Why? I don’t want to make it there. I don’t want to continue one more day, but instead of doing anything, I’ll cry myself to sleep, then wake up and pretend like everything is okay. Secretly, I’ll be wishing I could disappear like the sea foam.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s