Text in Quotes and Italics are the property of Taylor Swift, excerpts from “Death By a Thousand Cuts” from Lover.
“Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts. Flashbacks waking me up…”
I went downtown tonight, and as I drifted through these new streets- I could see your face. Like a ghost you’re right there, haunting me with your blue eyes and easy smile. Reminding me of that sudden goodbye. My reprieve came from the empty blackness, which melted you into a dream.
“I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they said I don’t know.”
Driving through town, I look in my passenger seat. For a minute, it’s like you’re right there next to me. Your laugh, I can barely remember, but the light in your eyes shines so brightly my heart aches. My eyes search for you. My hears try to listen for your voice. I shake my head as the light changes, and press the gas. I don’t know where I’m going, so I just drive forward. Anything to numb that ache that has settled in my chest.
“My heart, my hips, my body, my love trying to find a part of me you didn’t touch. Gave up on me like I was a bad drug. Now, I’m searching for signs in a haunted club. My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust. Trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up. Gave you too much, but it wasn’t enough.”
Every part of me reminds me of you. One look in the mirror and the memories flashback. Shits got me going crazy. Now I’m not the lady you wanted. There’s someone else in my place, and I can’t want to go back to you. I shouldn’t want to go back, I should just move forward. But, boy you played more games than Brady. I can’t go back too much truth has spilled from both sides. Every word from every fight left cuts, and though they’ve healed into scars. I can’t forget them. Maybe, I’m sorry. Maybe, we could have worked things out. Maybe, that was our test- we failed, and the grade has been posted for everyone to see. The ink has dried, and so have my eyes.
“I’ll be alright… it’s just a thousand cuts.”
“…I get drunk, but it’s not enough.”
“I take the long way home… I ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright. They said I don’t know…“
Faintly, our memories danced among the street lights. As the morning sun rises, I can breath a bit easier. Our place will always be one door away. Though I may glance through the glass window. I will never go through it, again. I came through it broken and stained, stumbling and half crazy. I don’t regret any of our time, though. I’ve transformed into something stronger.